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Bare Handed

Every empire falls and there’s not a one that’s lasted,
A state has an expiry date, and yours has blown right past it
It happened to us once and soon you’ll join us in the wreckage
Your influence is fucked your credibility is lessened
Made enemies of friends and you suck up to dictators
You brag about your bombs but you’ll only devastate us
With a tanked e-conomy and a trade war that’s not needed
And tariffs on the borders making headlines for the readers
Of the press – If I can call them press cos really that’s a joke
They’re a propaganda outlet for the racist redneck volk
“He’s a tough guy, he’ll make the country great again”
Bullshit, he’s a moron, and you’re going down the drain
All his goons investigated for fraud and for collusion
And he fornicated porn stars, cos his marriage is illusion
It almost made me numb to all the stories that kept breaking
At how fucking dumb a nation gets when it’s mistaken
In choosing an orangutan to try and run the country
He’s a moron not a politic…
Recent posts

Wooden Heart

The grove of trees was secluded, and it was dark.  It was ancient and largely unknown.  And it was waiting.    The eldest of the trees held court there, squatting like a bloated tyrant with a tanglewood crown and grasping miser’s fingers raking the earth around its corpulent trunk.   Healthy things did not grow there, wholesome plants did not flourish.   Birds did not roost in the trees of that grove, not the wise old birds anyway.  Ravens shunned it.   Foolish fledgeling songbirds who fluttered into the tyrant’s little realm did not flutter out again.   Insects and crawling things flourished and dug and bred greedily in the stinking moisture of the hollows of that grove.An approaching light, flimsy and weak.   Two men picked their way through the night, a lantern held aloft by the older of the two.“It is much further?” said the younger, a strong young man in his twenties, broad shouldered beneath his roughspun jacket.   His voice carried the barely masked complaint of someone who had…

Apocalypse

I’m working on the background for a new fantasy horror setting and the following idea interrupted me this morning:

Every generation produces zealots who believe that they are living in the End Times.
At midnight of June 1st 1660 the bells of St Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican began to ring by themselves, a long and melancholy peal of bells that lasted for five minutes. As they stopped, every single church bell in Christendom tolled a single note in response.
Some saw this as a miraculous sign of God’s providence. Some saw this as a warning of God’s wrath. The next few years became a time of turmoil and wonder.
Wars began and ended and began again along once stable borders. Civil uprisings occurred and revolutionary sentiments were widespread.
Reports of miracles and healings were heard from far off places and sometimes holy shrines nearer at hand. Tales of the rise of witchcraft and dark sorcery haunted the fears of those who would listen. Ghosts and apparitions were rumoured to appe…

Beautiful Stranger

When I first became immortal I assumed it would be like being part of an exclusive club of wise and mysterious beings, roaming the earth like gods and angels.  It really isn’t.   There aren’t many of us but we keep bumping into each other.   The world becomes a dull party.  You know their jokes, stories, habits and hang ups.   One minute you’re sitting on a beach watching the sun set and the next some bastard’s bitching about some merchant from Thebes who stiffed him over an amphora of bad wine.    Most of us become solitary.  All of us become bad company.Not youHah.  Maybe.    I’ve been alone too long and sometimes I need to make contact.   Not with another immortal though.    Tedious bunch, like I said.  And the ones that aren’t tedious are too damned dangerous.   I warned you about those didn’t I?Scared me silly.   I’ve been looking out for Them ever since.They’re too good at hiding.  I’m putting you at risk by talking to you, I should go.Please don’t.  I want to learn more about y…

(Old) School’s In For Summer

I recently discovered Lamentations of the Flame Princess mainly due to seeing it mentioned all over the Internet as something worthy of note – people talked about its high production values, innovation, boundary pushing etc and I thought I’’d see what all the fuss was about.


The basic rules are available for free online in an art-free version (which is a shame – the art is splendidly evocative of the feel intended by the author) and I will be honest and say that when I first read through the rules I was underwhelmed.   Yes it was an old school D&D clone, laid out very well, clearly explained and with some nice rule tweaks to tidy things up --- but it didn’t seem to be anything special.   I was a bit nonplussed as to what all the fuss was about.     Then I saw a few reviews on YouTube – IvanMike and QuestingBeast do a lot of old school gaming posts and reviewed a number of LotFP’s products – and it dawned on me that the strength of the game isn’t from the system but from the advent…

Silent Movie Pacing

I’ve been watching a lot of silent movies lately – specifically as much of Lon Chaney's output as I can find (the man could act with every cell of his body and is a pleasure to watch – seriously go find his stuff and savour it) and one of the things that struck me is the pacing of the movies.

Without dialogue every scene has to convey all the emotional oomph and exposition in as condensed and pure a form as possible. If there is necessary dialogue then one or two captions take care of it and the rest is acted out and the movies gets on with the next scene. Once you watch a few in sequence and then go back to a more modern movie (or talkie, to be precise) it becomes obvious just how much filler there is.  Some people can write good dialogue (Mamet for instance), some is perfectly functional, but some is just filler.

I was wondering how this would apply to RPGs.

Obviously character interaction is a vital part of the experience in role-playing and I’m not suggesting it is eschewed i…

Beasts of the Bone Coast

After the wreck of the ship carrying them into slavery, a small band of survivors face the dangers of the hostile land where they have washed up. Gigantic insects, abandoned temples to alien gods, impenetrable jungles – and worst of all a city of hate-filled ape-men marching against an isolated human township that is our heroes’ only hope of escape from this hellish new world

My latest adventure BEASTS OF THE BONE COAST is now available for free download HERE.

This is a short survival based adventure in the sword & sorcery genre with game suggestions and statistics for both Barbarians of Lemuria and Index Card RPG.   Starting from nothing can your heroes survive a hostile land and save a helpless town from a horde of crazed beast-men?

Comes complete with rules for a Mammoth-back chase and hero-focussed mass combat.